And then there was silence.

At present I am unoccupied on Sundays.  It’s a glorious thing.  There is nothing forcing me anywhere at any specific time.  I can go anywhere I want, to any church I want or even not to church if I’m so inclined.  I’m currently on a three week break and I’m really enjoying it.  I was a little burnt out, tired of always being the cheerleader and I needed some time alone.

As a serious introvert I do need time away.  I need quiet time in the day to relax and unwind.  When I’m working I often loose that time as I keep X. company during the day, visit with my husband at night and manage to cram work in.   On top of that I am apparently an empath {or at least my husband jokingly calls me that} and I have a tendency to feel the feelings of the people around me.  This can be a good and a bad thing at times.

Usually I have barriers in place to keep myself happy and at peace.  Lately it’s just all gotten to be too much.  Every church I went to had some type of anxiety, fear, worry or hesitation.  So many voices.  So many questions.  So many demands. I know it’s the way things are but it was wearing me down so I took a break.  And then there was silence…

The silence has been wonderful.  With the voices gone, I’ve sunk into life.  I’ve felt God’s presence.  I’ve embraced comfortable jeans, watched movies with my husband and dug in my garden.  I’ve prayed and prayed.  I’ve read and debated.  I’ve sat in silence and marveled at the world around me.   The anxiety and fear are not present here.   There is no worry or hesitation.  In my house there is peace.

I love peace.

Feeling peace is incredible.  It doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of passion or heated debate.  It doesn’t mean there aren’t questions or moments of wonder.  It just means that through it all you know things are ok, God is there and will continue to be there. I wish the church could feel this peace, could embrace God’s presence and feel peace as it walks through this time of transition.

I will continue to enjoy my time.  I will watch my brother and sister graduate, enjoy picnics in the park and maybe take in a show or two.  The time will pass to quickly and soon I will be back to work.  Until then I’ll exist in the silence, I will embrace the gift of time that God has given me.

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I’d love to know how you recharge when you’re feeling overwhelmed?  Leave a comment below…

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5 responses to “And then there was silence.

  1. I know a church that would love to see you

  2. great way to talk to a faithful reader! AND IT IS YOUR TURN

  3. Pingback: http://thebeggarsbakery.net/2012/06/03/lazy-cats-guide-to-restful-faith/ « tryingtopray

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