I want to be really useful…

I’d like to introduce you to Thomas.  He’s a really useful engine.

He helps my son sleep at night {in the form of a large stuffed toy}.
He makes bath time less scary by running on a track attached to bathroom tile.
He entertains X. when I’m making dinner.
He is found in books, on netflix and in our imaginations.
Thomas is a really useful engine.

I’m entering that period of life where decisions have to be made.
To have another child, to not have another child.
To go back to work, to not go back to work.
To find something really useful to do is the key…
I need to feel really useful.

When I came home last night from a meeting where I felt quite useless I was met by my son who missed me. It appears I am able to do some useful things. I play well with cars. I arrange hummus, crackers and bananas just right.  I know what toys he takes to bed. I give big hugs and spin him high in the sky like no one else can.

While I may not be a very useful engine, it would appear that I am a very useful Mom.  As I wrestle with the big questions I shall find my satisfaction in that.

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